


what matters most

by doughnutwhore



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Complete Story, Ex-Girlfriends, F/F, Happy pride month, PAST supercorp REIGNCORP ENDING, SPECIAL THANKS TO WHY? for correcting me on the relationships tag, Secret Child AU, Supercorp in the background, anyway, fell in love with this prompt and now i can't stop i'm sorry, honestly didn't mean for the story to seem like clickbait, i'm just adding other stories separate to the main plot but in the same universe, is it messier?, just so we're clearer this time, kara impregnated lena because they had sex and thats perfectly normal okay, lets just forget about biology here, lori danvers u adorable child, no powers, oh also the next chapters after the 8th one don't happen in chronological order, present reigncorp relationship, seemed more organized for me than making a series, so everyone's human, sorry completely forgot to put that in here, y'all know i said reigncorp ending from the beginning so sorry about that, yup
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-01
Updated: 2020-02-20
Packaged: 2020-04-05 23:37:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 20,649
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19050808
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/doughnutwhore/pseuds/doughnutwhore
Summary: “i’m sure my mom already told you about me, so why don’t you tell me about yourself instead. it’s why i’m here anyway.”alternatively: in which Lena takes her seven year old daughter to National City to meet her other motherCOMPLETEread tags for more info





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> based on the prompt: secret child au
> 
> *work of fanfiction. no copyright infringement intended

Lena would have never done this. Would have never thought about doing this. But Lori’s been asking questions, and she doesn’t want to be the kind of mother that simply brushes off her daughter’s inquiries. Especially since said inquiries have turned into requests.

It’s not that she doesn’t want Lori to meet her other mother. It’s just that Lena and Kara have long since parted ways, and keeping both entities separate is simply an attempt on her part to make sure that her daughter’s heart doesn’t get broken. She simply doesn’t want Lori getting ideas about having a complete family. Not after what Kara did to her. No. There’s no chance to be given, no matter how hard she knows her daughter might plead. She would consider letting Lori meet Kara, letting her spend time with her. But all on her terms. She’ll be the one calling the shots this time.

A sleek black car is already waiting for Lena when she exits the hotel. She’s only staying in National City for a week, so it’s best that she gets it over and done with. Leaving Lori in their hotel room with Sam, Lena thinks that it would be best if she seeks out Kara first, knowing that it would be less of a mess to firstly tell Kara that they have a child together instead of presenting her with said child without preamble. She opens the car door and gets inside.

“CatCo, please.”

She doesn’t realize that she’s buzzing with anxiety until the car comes to a full stop in front of the massive building. What am I doing here? She asks herself, thinking that she shouldn’t have come at all. It’s been seven years. Would Kara really care? Would Kara even talk to her? Lena feels a searing pain in her chest when she asks herself those questions. Once upon a time, she knew exactly who Kara was to be able to answer those questions by herself. But then Kara left without a word and suddenly Lena didn’t know her anymore.

“Ma’am,” the driver speaks up, bringing Lena out of her reverie. She looks out of the tinted window. Takes in the tall building with the stock knowledge that Kara is somewhere inside of it.

“Yes. Thank you,” she says and then she’s sliding out of the car and striding chin-raised inside of CatCo.

No matter what her feelings are for Kara, Lena knows that they’re of no importance. She’s doing this for her daughter. Because she loves her daughter. Because her daughter deserves to know who her other mother is, even if her other mother doesn’t deserve the reciprocity. So, Lena steels herself and continues the trip up the executive floor where Catherine Grant’s office is. She isn’t entirely sure if Kara is still Cat’s personal assistant, but Kara’s Facebook bio does mention that she still works for the older woman.

She’s walking out of the elevator when she recognizes a familiar face. It’s Eve on the front desk.

“Lena, oh god. I didn’t think I’d see you again,” she says, circling the desk and offering Lena a half-hug. Lena reciprocates.

“I didn’t think I would either. But I’m here to see Kara. For business, of course.”

“Right. Of course.”

“Is she here?”

“She’s here in the building. But she’s not on this floor.”

That confuses Lena. “What do you mean?”

“Oh, she’s not Cat’s assistant anymore. She’s been promoted to being a reporter.”

A reporter. A spark of pride makes itself known somewhere inside of Lena’s chest. It’s what Kara always dreamt of becoming. Suddenly, unbidden memories of Kara and Lena curled up in Kara’s bed talking about their dreams come crashing in Lena’s mind. She remembers it so vividly that it almost breaks her heart. They were still so young then. So in love. So naive.

“Do you want me to call her?” Eve asks. If she notices the way that Lena softens when she tells her about Kara’s new job, she doesn’t mention it and Lena’s grateful for that.

“Yes. That would be lovely. Thank you.”

Eve gestures to a couch in the waiting area before she circles back to her desk. Lena takes a seat, runs her speech over and over again in her head. She’s prepared for this very moment for quite some time now, so she thinks that she’s ready. But the sight of Kara as she strides out the elevator still knocks the wind off her lungs. She hears her heart break all over again, and Lena is suddenly taken back to when she was younger, to a time when she cried herself to sleep because Kara isn’t picking up, because Kara suddenly doesn’t want to see her anymore. Lena has to restrain herself from crying because _god,_ it’s been seven years but it’s all crashing down on her now and it still hurts. Not as much as it did all those years ago. No. But it still does. Kara is still the love of her life, after all. Even Sam knows that.

“Lena?”

She still sounds the same, Lena briefly thinks, and then she abruptly banishes the thought. She’s here for Lori. She’s only here for Lori.

“Kara. Good to see you again,” she says in a tone that means business.

Lena can see the emotions swirling in Kara’s eyes and it cuts right through her that she can still read the other woman as clear as day. But they aren’t here for anything other than Lori, Lena reminds herself. There’s nothing else to talk about but her daughter.

“I didn’t know you were back in town.”

“Yes, well, I didn’t have much time to prepare, let alone tell you that we were coming over.”

“We?”

Lena straightens herself. “We need to talk.”

 

The silence that follows after Lena tells Kara about Lori is a little overwhelming, but Lena gives Kara the time to digest it all. A seven year old daughter isn’t exactly easy information to process, especially since Kara has no prior knowledge about her.

Lena watches as Kara removes her glasses. As she runs a hand down her face. There are visible bags under her eyes that make Lena’s chest bloom with warmth, knowing that those stemmed from Kara’s sleepless nights of working on a story. All these years and Lena still knows Kara’s work ethic like she knows her own. And then Kara’s face crumples, and the warmth in Lena’s chest turns into white hot anger.

“Seven years. You never called to tell me about her?”

“How dare you? May I remind you that you’re the one who left without so much as a word. You don’t get to berate me on this.”

They’re at Noonan’s which means that Lena can’t yell, can’t release all the anger that she’s pent-up over the years. She’s still a Luthor. Her name and her picture still hang on the walls of National City’s L-Corp Headquarters. The last thing she needs is a scandal of her slapping Kara out of her wits. It wouldn’t help her image. And Lori wouldn’t be too happy about it either. So she refrains from letting her hands fly, and instead laces her words with as much venom as she can muster.

“Do not preach to me about secrets, Kara. You’re the one who disappeared on me, so you don’t get to lecture me. I’m the one who gets to say when you meet my daughter. Be thankful I’m even letting you meet her after what you did to me.”

Kara visibly winces, and Lena knows that she’s hit the right mark. She doesn’t want to talk about it, but if Kara wants to bring up old wounds then so be it. Lena isn’t the one who fucked up.

“I’m sorry,” Kara deflates. “I’m just totally overwhelmed right now.”

“That doesn’t give you the right to blow up at me. And it isn’t like I never tried to tell you about her,” she says and it breaks her heart all over again. She did try to tell Kara. She did everything that she could.

“What?”

“I followed you everywhere, didn’t I? I went to CatCo. I went to your apartment. You knew that. You were right there to ask someone else to ask me to leave because you wouldn’t see me.”

Lena sees the weight of her words crash on Kara then. Sees the realization dawn upon her. The way that she begins to recall images of her old self not wanting to see Lena for whatever self-imposed reasons that she used to have.  And then Lena sees them, the guilt and the shame, beginning to loom over Kara like a shadow. It turns her sick and pallid. It was her fault. Of course it was her fault.

“I’m so sorry Lena,” Kara says and it’s so small and so pure, and so sincerely said that it breaks Lena’s heart all over again. She’s dreamt of this for so long, Kara finally apologizing. Seven years and she finally has it, but it isn’t like what she imagined at all. In her head, the sorry makes everything all right. The sorry makes her forget what had happened and forgive Kara for all of her mistakes. It would be bittersweet, but it would be enough for Lena to consider patching things up and maybe starting all over again. But that’s a distant dream now. No matter how irreplaceable Kara is in her life, Lena doesn’t think that she’ll ever be able to do something to make her completely forgive her. Not after everything. Call her implacable, but nothing can change Lena’s mind.

“It’s too late for that now,” Lena responds. She sees the way that Kara winces when she says it, but Lena’s nothing if not honest.

There’s a bout of silence that hangs over them. It’s torturous and filled with so much tension with all of the words that they want to say to each other. Words that are either inappropriate to say or too late now to share. It makes Lena uncomfortable. Kara, sensing the unease between them, thankfully steers the conversation to the main point of their reunion.

“So, Lori…”

Lena visibly relaxes. She offers Kara a small smile. “Yes, Lori.”

“Can you tell me about her?”

 

They agree to meet-up again after Kara gets off from work. Lena is back in the hotel, nursing a glass of wine while she waits for the time to wake Lori up from her afternoon nap. She is pouring her third glass when she feels strong hands rest upon her shoulders, slowly massaging them until she feels herself relax. She looks up and sees the familiar face of Samantha Arias smiling down at her like a steady beacon of light.

“You really need to ease up,” Sam jokes, letting go of Lena’s shoulders to circle around the couch and take a seat beside the other woman.

Lena finds herself chuckling a little, “I know. I just can’t help but feel nervous.”

“About what?”

“About what might happen when they meet. Either it goes terribly wrong, or it goes horribly right.”

“How would it be horrible if it goes well?”

“Lori might want to see Kara more often,” Lena confesses with a sad sigh. “I just-I’m not sure I’m willing to share her.”

Sam’s hands are quick to find Lena’s. She gives them a gentle squeeze. “Hey. That’s the whole reason we’re here, right? For Lori to meet Kara?”

“Yeah, I know. And I don’t want to be selfish. But what if I’m not good at sharing?”

“You shared her with me,” Sam says softly, her lips quirking at the corners. Lena turns a little pink. Three years together and Lena’s heart still beats a little louder whenever she’s around Sam. Sam who is tall and smart and beautiful. Sam who is kind and gentle and loving.

“It’s different,” she whispers.

Sam smiles understandingly. “Hey, Lena. I know what you mean, okay? I understand. But just because Kara hurt you in the past doesn’t mean that she’s going to do the same to Lori. I get that you’re just being cautious, I do. You’re a great mother like that. But you have to give Kara a chance.”

The words make their way towards Lena heart. Sam always knows what to say, what she needs to hear. She’s right of course. Lena knows that she’s just scared that Kara might hurt Lori the way that she hurt her, but Lena also knows that with Lori she needs to give Kara a clean slate. It would be selfish and unfair to do otherwise.

“You’re allowed to be careful, but don’t let that stop you from being open.”

“You’re right,” Lena says, squeezing Sam’s hands back.

“I always am, aren’t I?”

Lena chuckles, bringing Sam’s knuckles up to her lips.

Sam pulls her closer after that, wrapping an arm around her waist while her other hand strokes gently on Lena’s face.

“Do you want me to come with you?”

“No, darling, I’ll be fine. We both will be. Will you wait for us to get back?”

Sam leans forward, kissing Lena’s forehead with so much tenderness. “Always.”

 

They meet up at a restaurant called the Family Pancake House, a decision that both Lena and Kara agree to after Lena mentions Lori’s love for breakfast food. It’s a new place, fairly new as it had just started operations the year before -which, for Lena, means that it holds no ties between her and her ex-girlfriend. It’s a good place for a new start, Lena thinks. At least it does with regards to Lori.

The place is quite large, filled with booths and tables and chairs. The smell of pancake mix and coffee readily assault Lena and Lori as they enter the restaurant, and Lena immediately spots Kara seated on one of the booths beside the window. She expertly makes her way towards her with Lori in tow.

“Kara.”

“Hi,” the blonde greets Lena first, and then her eyes fall upon the little girl hiding behind Lena’s leg. Kara knows at first glance that Lori is hers. Without a doubt. She has her eyes, the same blue, ocean-like orbs, peeking beneath long lashes. Lena watches as Kara gently lowers herself, feels Lori squirm a little behind her leg.

“Hi. I’m Kara.”

Kara waits, until finally Lori reveals more than half of her face. She’s tall, and pale, and lean. She has Lena’s jet black hair and sharp features. Everything about her is mostly Lena’s. But her eyes. They’re unmistakably hers.

“Hello,” Lori says shyly. “I’m Lorelei.”

Lena watches the interaction unfold, feeling her heart grow and break as she observes the way that Lori slowly begins to open up to her other mother. It starts out small, like Lori stepping out from behind her leg, and then Lori extending her hand to shake Kara’s own. She watches as Kara laughs, already in tears as she looks at the daughter that Lena knows Kara wishes that she raised.  

It’s what Lena used to dream of. Kara and Lori together. Her in the middle. A picture of a family.

“Do you want to take a seat, Lori?”

“Yes please.”

Lori climbs up the leather chair and slides in to the corner. Lena sits beside her. Kara across them.

“So, Lori, wanna tell me something about yourself?” Kara asks as a waiter appears to hand them their menus.

Lori seems to think about Kara’s proposition, and then she answers, “I’m sure my Mom already told you about me, so why don’t you tell me about yourself instead. It’s why I’m here anyway.”

The flabbergasted look on Kara’s face is enough to send Lena in a fit of controlled giggles. She covers a hand above her mouth as she stifles herself from laughing too much. Lori only gives them a look.

“You’re definitely your mother’s daughter,” Kara mumbles. She turns to Lena, “Was all that shyness from, like, two minutes ago just a ruse?”

“No, Lori was simply sizing you up,” Lena answers amusedly.

“I see. Well, she definitely gets that from you.”

Lena raises a manicured brow, “Wait ‘til she orders, and you’ll see where you come in the picture.”

 

Lena would have never done this. Would have never thought about doing this. But she won’t pretend that this isn’t one of the best decisions she’s ever made for Lori. Lori, laughing and enjoying her afternoon with Kara. Lori, challenging Kara to an ice cream eating contest, and winning because Kara let her. Lori, beautiful and heartbreakingly happy.

They’re taking a stroll in the park. Lori is flanked by her two mothers, a hand holding Lena while her other one is stuffed inside her dress pocket. Lena absentmindedly looks at Kara, whose own hands are stuffed inside her jeans. She smiles at the similarity.

She’s always seen so much of Kara in Lori. It used to break her, how much she sees the woman who broke her heart in the little girl who grew it back. She used to cry whenever she would look at Lori’s eyes, only to have the little girl stare back at her with Kara’s blue ones. It was a difficult time, one that Lena went through with strength and grace. And now she’s here, walking alongside her daughter and her daughter’s other mother. Attempting to patch things up and make amends because Lori deserves more people who love her. Lena smiles to herself, unaware of the turmoil that is to come.


	2. Chapter 2

Kara wants to see Lori again, and Lena allows it because it’s why they’re in National City in the first place. That and because Lori genuinely enjoyed the afternoon that she spent with Kara the day before.

She talked about it nonstop when she and Lena got back to the hotel, talked about how Kara’s eyes are the same blue as hers, and how Kara eats just as much as she does. Lena can tell that Lori’s put the pieces together, that she’s already figured out which traits she got from which mother. It erases whatever fears she may have had, whatever doubts. Of course, Lena would always have her biases when it comes to Kara, but the afternoon that she and Lori spent with the woman was proof enough that letting the two meet had been a good decision. For Lori and for Kara both. Which is why Lena wholeheartedly agreed when Kara asked if she could spend another day with their daughter.

Their daughter. Lena still finds it a bit weird to say. _Their_ daughter. For the past seven years, she’s never had someone to share Lori with. Well, there’s Sam. But it’s different. Lori had always been just hers. But then again, Lori had also always been Kara’s, even if Kara didn’t know that she existed then. Lena keeps that in mind when she starts feeling territorial, when she forgets that Kara isn’t a stranger. That Kara isn’t just someone that she used to love. She’s also Lori’s other mother.

They agree to meet at the National City Space Museum. It’s an amazing place. Definitely Kara’s favorite in the city, and Lena recalls just how many weekends they used to spend in there. Looking at the stars. Pointing at the planets. Holding hands while Kara tells her that she brought her to the Space Museum because she wanted to share her favorite place with the person that she loves. And now Kara wants to share it with their daughter. The implication tastes bittersweet in Lena’s mouth, twists a knife in Lena’s chest. It’s always going to hurt somehow, Lena thinks. No matter how long it’s been. No matter how far she’s come, and even if she now loves someone else.

The car parks right in front of the museum. Lena slides out of it and immediately spots Kara standing by the ticket booth, looking fresh-faced and gorgeous in a light blue shirt and a pair of dark wash jeans. Lori exits the car after Lena and waves at her other mother enthusiastically. They amble towards Kara.

“We’re wearing matching colors,” Lori says in lieu of a greeting.

The smile that Kara responds with is blinding. She gestures to Lori’s light blue dress. “Yes well, blue is a great color. And it compliments our eyes.”

“That’s what Mommy always tells me,” Lori says, looking up at Lena.

Lena looks down at her daughter, returns her smile with one of her own. She looks back up to catch Kara looking at her almost longingly. Lena isn’t sure. She doesn’t want to assume. All she knows is that she can’t find it within herself to look straight back. It’s unnerving.

She clears her throat instead, trying to banish the tense air starting to hang over them. “Shall we?”

 

The place is just how Lena remembers it, albeit with some modifications to make the experience more enjoyable, more interactive. Lena’s heart bends inside of her chest. The Space Museum had been one of her projects back when she and Kara were still together -inspired by her girlfriend’s love for astronomy. Her heart hurts a little more when she sees the L-Corp logo under one of the holograms. One of the many logos littering the area. She chances a glance at Kara, notices her frowning because she already knows, and Lena can see it in Kara’s eyes, knows that Kara is thinking that she should have chosen a different place for them to go to. Somewhere that isn’t charged with their past. Somewhere that won’t bring up unnecessary emotions. But they both know that it’s difficult to think of such a place. Not in this city. They had been together for five years, after all.   

“This is amazing,” Lori whispers, breaking both women’s daze. Kara smiles, looks at her daughter with immeasurable adoration.  

“I’m glad you like it, Lori. This place means a lot to me.”

“Was this place mommy’s gift for you?” The girl suddenly asks, and Lena’s breath catches in her throat.

Kara looks at her daughter, tries her best to sound unaffected. “What makes you say that?”

Lori shrugs. “There’s a small L-Corp logo near the big sign on the entrance. And there’s some more in this room.”

Of course she saw that, Lena thinks. Her daughter who is so smart and so perspective for her age. She’s proud of course. She always is. Even if that means baring things from the past that she would rather not talk about.

“You caught that, huh?” Kara chuckles and Lena’s thankful that she’s trying to make light of the situation even when it’s clearly so emotionally charged. “That’s very observant of you, Lori. But no, the museum isn’t your mom’s gift. She did donate several things for the place, though. That’s why her company logo is on display.”

“As a thank you?”

“Exactly,” Kara says, finding Lena’s eyes and locking on to them.

Lena rarely ever becomes speechless, but when she does she usually immediately catches herself and makes amends. Right now, however, is not one of those moments. Now Lena can’t find it within herself to speak. Not when Lori is holding her hand, while Kara is looking at her like _that._ Like every single memory is coming back to her. Every touch. Every word. Every kiss. Not when Kara is looking at her with so much regret. With so much love. And then Lori starts spewing off facts that she knows about the constellations. Things that Lena taught her. Things that Kara knows she taught Lena. And the pain in Kara’s eyes magnify tenfold, because Lena knows that Kara is wishing that she taught Lori those things instead. Or that she at least was there when Lena taught Lori everything she knows. Everything about the stars that Kara whispered to her in the darkness of the dome. It breaks Lena’s heart. The look in Kara’s eyes. The obvious regret. But they can’t talk about it. They won’t talk about it. Because they’re both here for Lori. Just Lori. And nothing can be about them anymore.

They take a few hours circling the museum. After finally compartmentalizing and shoving their feelings down their throats, both women decide to focus on their daughter which, they both know, is the right thing to do. Kara tells Lori about her theory, about the possibility of life in different planets, in different solar systems, and Lori is enraptured by the thought. She asks Kara questions, and Kara readily answers them. Lena chimes in here and there, but she mostly leaves everything else to Kara, giving the other woman the opportunity to bond with her daughter. Their daughter. They bond even more when Lori announces that it’s time for her snacks. And by that she means her second lunch. Kara laughs when she suggests buying biscuits for Lori, only for the little girl to scrunch her nose and say, “That won’t be enough.”

Kara suggests a cuban restaurant nearby that she hasn’t been to. It’s a safe place for her and for Lena. No past attached. And it’s somewhere that Alex swears by.

The restaurant is relatively full when they arrive. They find a small table in the middle for the three of them. They take their seats.

“Hola, bienvenido a Pablo’s,” a waiter greets as he hands them their menus. Lena sees Lori’s eyes sparkle. The women order first. And then comes Lori’s turn.

“Hola. Cual es tu best-seller?” Lori says, smooth and fluent. The waiter suddenly perks up, and just like that he and Lori begin conversing in Spanish. It steals the wind straight from Lena’s lungs, watching her daughter speak in another language as if it were her first. She grins, a massive smile full of amazement and pride. Out of the corner of her eye, she notices Kara’s curious gaze.

“I didn’t know you speak Spanish,” Kara says when the waiter leaves with their orders. She’s looking at her daughter with a thoroughly impressed expression on her face. “You’re very good at it.”

Lori beams, “Thank you. Sam taught me. She’s a great teacher.”

Lena stiffens. She watches as Kara’s brows furrow in confusion.

“Who’s Sam?”

“She’s mommy’s girlfriend,” Lori answers matter-of-factly, as if Kara is supposed to know that information.

Kara turns her head to face Lena. “I didn’t know Mommy had a girlfriend either.”

There’s a look in her eyes that says something Lena doesn’t understand. Or maybe she does understand, she just doesn’t want to acknowledge it. It’s unfair, she thinks, that Kara is looking at her like that when she’s the one who left. She raises a challenging brow, as if saying, ‘Why do you look disappointed?’

It does the trick. Kara looks away, talks to Lori again with a bright smile on her face, but Lena can see that her smile doesn’t quite reach her eyes. Kara looks sad, defeated even. And Lena’s irritated because Kara doesn’t have the right. To make matters worse, Lori stands up and excuses herself to go wash her hands.

“Do you need help?” Lena asks, and of course Lori says no. She’s seven. She can wash her hands by herself.

“So Sam,” Kara starts, right when Lori leaves the table. She’s looking at Lena intently.

“Don’t.”

“I’m happy for you,” she says and god, Lena feels her whole heart shatter all over again. Memories of sleepless nights and swollen eyes come rushing back to her, threatening to swallow her whole because she was alone, because Kara left, because Kara made her feel unloved. And now, this? Kara has the audacity to look resigned at the mention of Lena’s girlfriend? As if she cares? God.

“Stop,” Lena hisses, the tears already in the corner of her eyes.

“I am.”

“I said stop, Kara. Don’t do this to me. Don’t act like you’re hurt knowing about Sam. You left me, remember?”

Kara’s hand moves forward, but then retracts, and Lena’s stomach lurches at the almost touch.

“I didn’t want to,” she says, and it’s so soft and so broken that Lena feels a tear slip down her cheek. She wipes it in an instant. She thinks about the day before. The two of them flanking their daughter as they walk down the park. Remembers smiling to herself, thinking about patching things up and making amends. God, she wants Lori to have that. And she will have that, Lena promises herself, but Kara is making it so hard to just forget about the past.

“You still did,” she says.

And then Lori comes back and they don’t talk about it anymore.

 

They talk about Alex instead, when Lori remembers Kara mentioning Alex’s name earlier.

“She’s my sister. Your aunt,” Kara says, and Lori’s face brightens.

“I have an aunt?”

“Yes, you do.”

They talk about her and Eliza, about what they’re like and what they do for a living. Lori has so many questions. Naturally, Lena thinks, because she’s her daughter. And knowing her daughter, Lena already knows what question would come up next. It’s just like what had happened with Kara. First came the questions, then came the request.

“Mommy, can I meet them?” Lori asks, not missing a beat.

Lena puts her glass of water down. She’d already thought about it, about them, even before they’d arrived in National City. They’re Kara’s family. Which makes them Lori’s family. Letting Lori meet them had always been on the cards.

“Of course, darling. If they’re free,” she answers, and the light in Lori’s eyes is consolation enough. It makes her smile back, makes her remind herself for the billionth time that they’re in National City for Lori, that this is all about Lori. Because in all honesty, Lena would very much prefer to NOT see them again. Alex and Eliza. Not them. Not the people who treated her like family when she was still Kara’s girlfriend. Not the people who tried their best to contact Kara after she’d left her. Not the people who called her, and apologized to her because even they didn’t understand why Kara had broken up with her. Not them. They would only open more wounds. But what can she do?

“I’ll let them know,” Kara says before standing up to make a few calls.

Lena’s eyes follow after her. And then she looks back at her daughter. Their daughter. And reminds herself again why she’s here in the first place.


	3. Chapter 3

Lena feels strong arms embrace her. She almost cries at the warmth of the touch. God, she missed this. She didn’t know how much she did until now, until she feels soft and solid arms around her, pulling her in and squeezing her ever so slightly. She can tell by the other person’s grip that she too had been missed, and it only brings another bout of ache in her chest.  

“I’m so glad to see you again, Lena. It’s been too long,” Eliza says, looking into Lena’s eyes when she pulls back.  

“You too, Eliza,” and Lena means it with all of her heart.

Another pair of arms engulf her just as Eliza backs away. It’s Alex’s. Her hold is just as strong, just as tight. It breaks something inside of Lena again.

Alex doesn’t say anything to her, just holds on to her because it’s been seven years and they had treated each other as sisters before. They were family. They still are, in a way. Alex thinks Lena always will be. Alex pulls back, and Lena finally sees the unshed tears in the corner of Alex’s eyes. Sees all the things she wants to say. All the things in behalf of Kara. She doesn’t say anything though, and Lena’s grateful for the reprieve. It’s only nine in the morning. She can’t do drama just yet.  

It’s their third day in National City, and she and Lori are with the other Danverses for breakfast. Kara isn’t here yet. She’d texted Lena earlier about needing to drop a few papers off to CatCo. She’ll catch up later, she said.

It had been her idea to start the day early, give Eliza and Alex the entire day to get to know her daughter. Alex’s niece. Eliza’s granddaughter. It warms Lena’s insides knowing that Lori has all of these wonderful people to call family. Lori. Lena looks back. Lori is still inside of the car, waiting for her to come fetch her.

“Is she -,” Alex starts, eyeing the car with wonder and excitement and so much love for a child she hasn’t even met yet.

“Yes. I’ll go get her,” Lena says. She turns back and walks the six steps towards the sleek black car parked on the side of the road, right in front of the restaurant they’ve made reservations at. She opens the passenger door and immediately notices the combination of worry and anticipation painted across Lori’s face.

“Are you okay, sweetheart?”

Lori nods.

“Are you ready to meet them?”

Lori takes the hand that Lena offers as she slides out of the car. She walks a few steps behind her mother, as shy as when she’d first met Kara.

“Hello,” Alex says, stooping down to Lori’s level. “I’m Alex, Kara’s sister. You must be Lori.”

Lori steps out from behind Lena’s leg. She extends her hand. “Hi. I’m Lorelei.”

Alex readily shakes it, and then Eliza steps forward. She shakes Lori’s hand as well as she introduces herself as Kara’s adoptive mother. Of course, Lori already knows that Alex and Eliza aren’t really Kara’s biological family. Her other mother had explained it all to her the day before. _But they’re family. Through and through,_ Kara had told her.

“Do you want to go in?” Alex asks, nodding to the restaurant behind her. Lori’s eyes sparkle at the thought of food. She nods enthusiastically. Alex chuckles and gives Lena a look that says ‘She really is Kara’s daughter.’

Their interaction starts out slow and tentative, gradually progressing with every question Alex and Eliza ask about Lori that Lori readily answers. She’s still a little anxious, Lena can tell, but there’s still that spark of confidence in the way that Lori sits up and intelligently answers the other women’s inquiries that makes Lena’s heart glow with pride.

It’s a beautiful sight. Lori slowly opening up to Alex and Eliza, and the Danvers women looking completely enraptured with the young girl in front of them. They’re listening so intently, hanging on to every word that Lori is telling them because it’s been seven years and they just met and Lori is family and their time is limited, isn’t it? It cuts Lena a little. Seven years. She did that to them. _No._ She immediately banishes the thought away. She’s a damn good mother, and whatever she did, she did it for Lori.

 

Lori’s shyness disappears mid-meal. The continuous conversation had done the trick, and now Lori is regaling some story about her time in school. Eliza has her complete attention. Alex, on the other hand, is stealing glances at Lena every so often. Lena inwardly sighs. It was inevitable. Alex, after all, had acted as her bridge to Kara seven years ago when Kara had disappeared. Alex nods her head to the side, and Lena takes that cue.

“Excuse us,” she says. Lori nods and then goes right back to her conversation with her grandmother, who looks pleased to have been given the chance to monopolize some time with the young girl.

Lena and Alex amble towards a quiet corner.

“I’m really happy to see you again, Lena,” Alex says softly when they’re finally alone.

“I’m so happy to see you too. Seven years is a long time.”

“Yeah. It really was,” and then Alex eyes turn softer, apologetic, and understanding and Lena’s breath hitches in her throat because she knows where this is going. “Hey, I just wanted to apologize...again, for how things ended with you and Kara. I hope you’ve forgiven her.”

Lena clears her throat. “I have. In a way. And I’ve moved on from it. But you can’t blame me for having residual feelings about what happened. It’s always going to hurt,” Lena says and it’s too raw, too heartbreakingly honest that it scratches the scar the Kara had left when she suddenly disappeared all those years ago.

“I get it. I do. I just hope you understand why she did it, even if it was a terrible thing to do. To be honest, I was a little mad at you for not telling us about Lori. Kara deserved to know about her even after what she did.”

Lena’s eyebrows shoot up to her hairline. She crosses her arms defensively. “Well I wasn’t sure if she’d be interested in talking to me, much less knowing about Lori. We haven’t spoken since she left, Alex. Seven years ago. She never returned any of my calls. You think I didn’t try?”

That makes Alex step back in disbelief. She holds out a hand. “You mean all this time she still hasn’t told you?”

Lena shakes her head.

“I thought, I, -I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Lena. I thought she told you. Eliza and I only found out about it years after you’d broken up. We kept telling her to contact you, to explain her side, to finally tell you the truth but she never budged, and we didn’t want to push her. I guess she never did.”

Lena’s heart twists inside of her chest. She turns her head to look at Lori, choking back when she says, “No, she never did. I mean, if she did, if she at least made me understand why she did what she did then we might have come sooner.”

Alex falters as a frown graces her face, and Lena notices how she follows her gaze and watches as Eliza converses with Lori, eyes sparkling and hands flying animatedly. It’s true. If Kara had just explained, if she had just cleared things up… Lena sees Alex turn back to her. There’s a sad smile on her face, a kind of defeat that Lena recognizes. She sees it for what it is. Resignation. Because seven years had passed and they can’t change what had happened. They can say their ‘what ifs’, and they can voice out their ‘if onlys’, but at the end of the day, the past is the past.

“I just wish she told you, you know? It might have been too late for the two of you, but at least she tried. At least you’d know that she didn’t do it because she didn’t love you.”

The line finds a way to Lena’s heart and squeezes it so violently that she feels hot tears prickle at the corners of her eyes. There’s a thickness in her throat and a throbbing in her head and _this is for Lori. This is all for Lori,_ Lena reminds herself. But Alex is bringing up so much and Lena knows that she doesn’t need any of it anymore but god, it’s so painful to hear. To finally have a glimpse of why and what happened when that was all she ever wanted. Carrying Lori in her stomach, praying and praying that Kara shows up and apologizes and tells her the truth so they can be a family. When she’s finally made herself better and she’s raising Lori by herself but old wounds creep up on her when she remembers something from the past and she sees Kara’s bright smile in her head that matches the one on the baby that she’s holding. It’s not supposed to hurt anymore. But it does. Because it’s a wound forced closed. Not a wound that healed by itself. And Lena knows that. Even Sam knows that.

It’s then that Kara walks into the restaurant, face glowing sunshine at the sight of Eliza with Lori. Lena knows that Kara hasn’t seen them yet, and she doesn’t wait for that. Doesn’t want Kara to see her and her sister talking in a corner, emotionally charged and on the verge of tears. She motions for Alex. Alex nods and they amble back to the table and pretend that nothing happened.

Lena was, is, okay with not knowing. She doesn’t really mind. Not anymore. It’s been seven years and she’s moved on and she has a beautiful life. But coming back to National City, being around Kara, being around Kara’s family, and having Alex tell her those things earlier… She shakes her head. She has the right to know. Of course she does. But it wouldn’t really matter now. It wouldn’t change a thing. She’s only here for Lori. She only wishes that Kara knows that. She thinks that she does, but the other woman is looking at her with sad yearning eyes and Lena just _knows_ that Kara wants to say something she doesn’t think she wants to hear. Or maybe it is something she _does_ wants to hear, Lena’s just not certain if she’s ready to hear it. She sighs. It’s only almost eleven but she can already feel her heart being pulled at the seams. It’s too early, and she doesn’t want to give Kara the satisfaction of knowing that she’s so thoroughly affected by all of this by ordering a glass of wine. So Lena does what Lena does best. She pulls out her phone and distracts herself with work. Lori is busy with Alex and Eliza anyway.

She starts tapping on her cellphone, checking the emails that Jess has so kindly transferred to a folder marked important. She chuckles at one from Lex asking her to come home, saying that he needs her because she’s the only one who gets his brilliance and because he misses his niece. It takes her away from the heavy feeling in her chest and lets her focus on the warmth of having a brother who loves her like there isn’t a part of her that isn’t related to him. Lex has always loved her whole, a love that has extended to Lori. And then her phone flashes and the screen displays a picture of Sam, radiant as ever. She finds herself smiling instantly. She slides a finger on the screen to answer.

“Hey,” she says, bowing her head as she excuses herself. She walks to the side, stands just a few meters away from their table.

“Hi. How are things going?”

“Fine. We’re still having breakfast.”

“Oh, okay. Well I just wanted to hear your voice,” Sam says and Lena can hear the smile in her voice. She bites her lip, feeling herself turn a shade of pink.

“You’re such a dork,” she says. She feels lighter already. Samantha, her breath of fresh air.

“What? I can’t miss my girlfriend?” Sam chuckles.

“You can. I miss you too.”

And then Kara, thinking that this is the only chance she’s ever going to get Lena alone, walks to where she is standing, holds Lena’s free wrist and says, “Can we talk later? After this? Just the two of us?” just as Sam is saying, “I love you.”

Silence. And then…

“Was that Kara?”

Lena freezes, suddenly, as guilt and shame begin to flood her senses. “Yes. It is.”

“I see. Well, I’ll see you tonight then,” Sam says, soft and understanding like she always is and it eats away at Lena. God.

“We will. I love you,” she says. It’s for Sam. But Kara is in front of her and is looking straight at her when she says it. And so Lena sees it, the realization dawning upon Kara that it was Sam that she was talking to, that it is Sam that she now loves. She sees it as clear as day, the sudden flash in Kara’s eyes before they’re gone again, the tightening of her jaw, the sharp inhale. It’s raw and fresh and _painful_ , and it twists and claws and grips so powerfully at her chest because Kara’s heart is breaking in front of her when it doesn’t have the right to. Not anymore. Not after seven fucking years. But there it is, right in front of her. And Lena doesn’t know what to do because Kara’s the one who left, and up until now Lena’s never seen her so grief-stricken about it. So she stands still, frozen in place, shocked but defiant. And then Kara lets her hand go.

 

Lori is asleep. It’s still a little after six, an hour before bedtime, but the kid’s had a long day. Sam and Lena, on the other hand, are still on the couch in the living room. There’s a glass of wine in Lena’s hand and a staggering amount of guilt in the pit of her stomach. She doesn’t want to hurt Sam. She never wants to.

“I’m sorry. About earlier,” she says, putting down her glass and turning to face Sam.

“Hmm?”

“When Kara interrupted our call.”

Sam looks at her with so much kindness and patience, “You don’t have to apologize for that. You were with her and her family. Of course she’s going to talk to you.”

“Yes, but I was away from the table and I was on my phone.”

“Lena, she was trying to get you alone. I get it,” she says, reaching out to hold Lena’s hand. Their fingers slide together easily. It eases the weight on Lena’s shoulders. Marginally.

Lena shudders an uneasy breath, “I guess I’m just a little guilty.”

“About what?”

“About this whole thing. I love you. I do. But being around Kara these past few days, even after seven years, it’s just…”

“Overwhelming?” Sam supplies and Lena could only sigh in affirmation. Lena has her head down, feeling ashamed at her confession. It’s true, though. The past few days have been massively overwhelming for her. How could it not be when she’s back in this city, spending a considerable amount of time with her ex-girlfriend. The one who just upped and left her seven years ago without an explanation. The one who happens to be her daughter’s other mother. The one who looks at her with sad eyes filled with hopelessness and regret. It’s too much to handle. Add her ex’s sister into the mix and the words _'a_ _t least you’d know that she didn’t do it because she didn’t love you'_ and Lena’s heart just starts breaking all over again. And Lena’s already moved past that. She’s moved on, she truly has. She doesn’t need to know the explanation now when it won’t change anything. She’s with Sam, and she and Lori are leaving for Metropolis in five days. But then she remembers the defeat in Alex’s eyes and _I just wish she told you_ and Kara almost pleading telling her that they need to talk. And Lena just falls right back into it. Into wanting to know even if she doesn’t really need to. Because she has the right. Because it’s seven years too late. Because it’s right there in front of her and she can finally close this.

“Hey, Lena, baby,” Sam whispers, bringing Lena back from her daze. “I get it. I do. You don’t have to feel guilty, or have to apologize for anything. You told me everything, remember? I know what happened. And I know who Kara is to you. I know how much it hurt you before, and having all of that hurt come crashing back now, well, it’s too much. Seven years of not knowing, Lena. I get it.”

She says it so gently, so understandingly that Lena’s heart swells and aches. “I just don’t want you to feel like I haven’t moved on from her. Because there’s a part of me that still wants to know why she left.”

“Lena, I would never blame you for wanting to know because Kara’s absence didn’t just affect you, it affected Lori too. And I would never feel bad because you deserve to know.”

“Even after all this time?”

“Yes.”

Lena sighs, “I just don’t want you to feel like me knowing would change something between us.”

“Is that what you think would happen?”

“I don’t know Sam. I just don’t want to be unfair to you.”

Sam looks intently into Lena’s eyes as she brings up their joined hands to her lips, soft and reassuring against Lena's knuckles.

“I love you. More than I’ve ever loved anyone. And you love me, too. No matter how stubborn and dramatic you are,” Sam says, chuckling. “We’ve been together for three amazing years. I’m not just going to disregard that and insult our relationship by thinking that things are going to change just because you’re around your ex, or because you want to know why she left you. Even if it was seven years ago. You deserve to know the truth, Lena. For yourself, and for Lori. I understand that. And I want that for you too. For your peace of mind.”

The words feel tangible to Lena, engulfing her in a warm embrace and reassuring her. She doesn’t realize that she’s crying until Sam pulls a hand and brushes her tears away with the pad of her thumb. The weight on her shoulders is gone, replaced by Sam’s strong arms as she pulls Lena towards her. And Lena falls in, easily rests her body flush against Sam’s. She holds onto her. Her steady beacon of light. Her stronghold. Her rock.

“You and Lori are my family, Lena. I love you,” Sam whispers, and in that instant Lena knows that everything is going to be alright.

Lena pulls back. She looks at Sam straight in the eyes when she says “I love you too.”

She leans in again, Sam’s hand wrapped around her shoulders as they bask in the silence together. And then Lena’s cellphone chimes from the table in front of them. It’s Kara.

Lena grabs the device and opens the text. It reads, “Can we talk?”

She releases a breath. Sam holds her tighter. She kisses her on the cheek. “Go,” she whispers against Lena’s temple.

It fills Lena with the courage that she needs. She taps the reply button and writes back. “Okay.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> special thanks to Mia for helping me finish this chapter. you're amazing. you always are.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> finally. kara’s reason for leaving lena. this chapter is shorter than the previous ones, but there was nothing else to add and it was literally draining me to write this terribly heavy chapter. anyway, here it is. i hope you feel it the way that i did. 
> 
> p.s. listen to taylor swift’s i almost do. trust me.

Lena shivers in the cold, the night air seeping through the layers of her coat. She’s walking towards Pepper Park, towards Kara and the truth. The thought makes her tremble more than the wind. She stuffs her hands deeper down her pockets as she enters the grounds, immediately making her way towards the playground. Kara is already there, waiting for her on one of the picnic tables. It’s dark where she’s sitting, but Lena can still make out the lines on her face. The parts illuminated by the lamplight. She sees the misery. The fear. The guilt. It makes Lena want to turn back. She wants to know. She truly does. She just isn’t sure if she can handle knowing, can handle opening that wound again after it’s been forcibly closed. But then Lena remembers late nights just after Lori was born, when she would call Lex to help her because Lori won’t stop crying. She thinks about the days when she would go to work exhausted because she didn't sleep the night before. Because Lori needed her. She remembers her brother saying, “Why don’t you get a nanny?” and her replying, “I’m not going to entrust my daughter to a stranger.” Recalls her mother offering, “I could watch her for the night,” and her giving in because her eyes keep closing shut. It bolsters her, gives her the strength that she needs to step forward, to walk and walk until she is in front of Kara. She sits down.

The fear and the misery and the guilt magnify tenfold up close. Kara looks bone-weary, and only then does it occur to Lena that maybe Kara is tired of keeping her secret. Maybe Kara has wanted to tell her her reason all this time. Maybe Kara never wanted to keep it to herself in the first place.

“Lena,” Kara says. Her voice is fragile.

“Kara.”

Lena watches as Kara bows her head, seemingly preparing herself. Kara shivers, but Lena knows that it isn’t from the cold. She blows a steadying breath. Nothing more needs to be said. They’ve come here for one thing. Lena steels herself. Kara starts.

“It was one afternoon. We decided not to see each other. You were busy with work and Cat was making me run errands. And then… And then Siobhan called me and told me that your mom wanted to see me.”

Lena stiffens. Her mom? Lillian? Lena shuts her eyes. She should have known. But how could she when Lillian had been nothing but kind to her these past few years. Caring, even. Mending fences. Patching things up. Becoming a mother for her and a grandmother for Lori. Apologizing for being cruel and strict and suffocating and manipulative—. Ah. Of course. Lena opens her eyes.

“What did she say?”

“She asked me to leave you, and to never show myself again,” Kara says, a flash of anger in her eyes. “I told her that I wasn’t going to. We’d been together for almost five years then. I knew that your mother never liked me, but I had always fought for you. And that time was no different. But then… But then she told me about the promotion that Lex offered you. The one that you turned down because you said you didn’t want to leave the city.”

 

> _”She doesn’t want to leave you, Kara,” Lillian said. There was a genuine sadness on her face that confused Kara. Lillian had never been a stellar mother, but at that moment it was clear to Kara that Lena’s refusal to come home and see them affected her._
> 
> _“That’s her decision to make.”_
> 
> _“I know it is. But her decision… We both know that it’s wrong. You’re wrong for her. Don’t you see, Kara? You’re holding her back. She won’t take the promotion because she doesn’t want to be away from you. But we both know that she should. We both know that Lena is meant for bigger things. I just want what’s best for my daughter.”_
> 
> _Kara crossed her arms. “Again, that’s Lena’s decision to make.”_
> 
> _Lillian scowled. “Then I’ll make it yours. Leave my daughter or else I’ll cut her off.”_

 

Lena tenses. “She threatened you?”

“She did.”

“And you took the bait? It was just money, Kara. I could have made my own.”

“It wasn’t just about the money, Lena,” Kara says, choking back a sob. “She wasn’t just threatening to cut you off financially. She was going to cut you off from _everything._ All of your experiments. All of your ideas. All of your hard work. Your sacrifices. Gone. She was going to remove you from the company. She was going to distance you from your family _._ She was going to make sure that you wouldn’t be able to contact her or Lex or any of your associates. She was going to leave you with _nothing._ It was me or your entire life. And I-I couldn’t… I didn’t want you to lose everything you had for me. I couldn’t. Not your work, and especially not your family.”

“That was my decision to make,” Lena hisses, throwing back Kara’s words from seven years ago. Kara is crying in front of her now, trembling in the cold and the desperation for Lena to understand why she did what she did. But Lena only shakes her head. It was her decision to make, and Kara took that away from her.  

“I couldn’t let you, Lena. I couldn’t let you decide because I knew that you would choose me.”

And then Lena is crying, tears flowing freely down her cheeks because Kara is right. She would have chosen her. She would have given everything up. God. She would have thrown everything away, would have run with Kara and never looked back. “I loved you. I couldn’t do that to you. I didn’t want you to lose your family. Not when you already lost Lionel without him ever knowing that you had forgiven him. Lillian and Lex… They were the only ones you had left.”

“I had you,” Lena whispers, voice quiet and so so broken. Her heart is pounding in her chest and god, it hurt to breathe. “You were my family, too.”

And then Kara is sobbing, letting out a strangled sound from deep within her as she pressed the heels of her hands to her eyes. Lena watches her through her own tear-filled vision, watches as Kara weeps for her, for what she had done, for the choice that she had made. There’s a pain in her chest, something breaking over and over again deep inside of her. God, it hurts so much.

Kara removes her hands from her eyes, and then all of a sudden, grabs Lena’s and holds on to them like a lifeline.

“It was so hard, Lena. It was so hard to walk away from you. I loved you so much. I loved you with everything that I had. Leaving you was the hardest thing I ever had to do. You don’t know how many times I picked up the phone, wanting to call you, wanting to just hear your voice, or just the sound of you breathing. I missed you every day. I wanted to tell you everything. I wanted to tell you why I did what I did, but if Lillian found out -I couldn’t do that to you, Lena. So I stayed away. Made sure that you never saw me again. I couldn’t even look at a picture of you without feeling my heart -feeling it shattering all over again. I made sure that I wouldn’t know about you and how you were doing. So I turned off the television when you were on the news, blocked you on social media, muted you on everything. Because seeing your face, hearing your name -that would only remind me of the best thing that I had to let go.”

It’s the first time that Lena has ever seen Kara cry for what she had done, and god it’s destroying her. She used to think that seeing Kara hurting would make her feel better for all the pain that she had felt, but looking at Kara now, watching as Kara breaks down in front of her, struggling to breathe and desperately holding on to her hand, it’s crushing her. God.

“I missed you so much, Lena. I missed you every day. I’m so sorry. I’m sorry for hurting you. I put us through hell, didn’t I? And Lori. God. If I had known.”

“I called you so many times,” Lena speaks up, finding her voice. “I went to you wherever you were, waited for you, messaged you. I did everything. I tried. I was pregnant.”

Kara breaks down, an ugly sob tearing from her throat. “I’m so sorry, Lena,” she cries. “I didn’t know. I swear.”

“It broke me, Kara. You leaving me. You broke me.”

“I know.”

“I was going to propose, did you know that?”

Kara stills. “What?”

“I thought about it even before I found out that I was pregnant,” Lena says wistfully, “I wanted to marry you. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you. And then Lori came and everything was just… It was perfect. We were going to be a family. You were my family. But you gave me up.”

“I didn’t give you up, Lena. I didn’t,” Kara pleads, but Lena is pulling her hand away.

“You did. You should have told me, Kara. We could have found a way. Remember what you always told me? Stronger together.”

“I’m sorry, Lena, please,” Kara begs, reaching out to touch Lena again. Lena pulls back. 

“You left me, and I spent day after day wondering what I did wrong. Wondering why you wouldn’t talk to me. Wondering why you didn’t love me anymore.”

“I never stopped loving you. Never. Not even a minute.”

“You don’t leave the people you love, Kara!” Lena shouts, standing up.

“I did it for you! Because I love you! Because I didn’t want you to lose your family!”

“I needed you.” It’s a whisper this time. A broken thing.

The silence hangs over them, thick and heavy and charged. Lena is still standing, looking down at Kara’s beaten form. They’re both tear-stained and tired and it’s all just a big mess, isn’t it? Kara doing what she thought was the best for Lena. Lillian doing the same. Yet at the end of everything, they both did her wrong. No matter how much they love her. Still, Lena can’t find it within herself to be angry at either of them. Because even if it turned out the other way, Lena would still have lost someone. She only wishes that she had been given the chance to choose, even if it was an impossible situation. That’s it. She should have been the one to decide.

“I would have given you my whole life, Kara,” Lena quietly says, and god, she sees the way that Kara closes her eyes, as if imagining the scene. Her and Lena holding Lori’s hands, walking together, playing, laughing. It’s the life that Kara wants. The life that she would have had if it weren’t for Lillian Luthor. If she made the other choice. Or if she had let Lena choose for herself. But there’s no use in pointing fingers now.

Lena circles the picnic table, ambles towards Kara’s side. She’s standing directly beside Kara now. Kara turns to her and looks up to face her.

“I loved you so much, Kara.”

“I love you. Even now. I always will,” Kara responds, raising her hand to hold Lena’s. Lena lets her, and their fingers intertwine, but Lena doesn’t recognize her hands anymore. They don’t fit. Not the way that they used to. It breaks her heart even more, knowing that she used to feel the light of the universe when Kara would hold her, touch her. And now, nothing. 

Still, Lena brings their hands together up to her lips as flashbacks of their time together run through her mind. Five years of laughter and tears, good and bad, dates and adventures, and most of all, love. Complete and utter and immeasurable love. The kind that makes you want to throw everything else. The kind that makes you want to fight. The kind that you know lasts a lifetime.

“I’m always going to love you too,” Lena says and she means it. She’s angry at Kara and Lillian for what they did, but it’s been seven years. There’s no point in lingering on what had happened, on the choices that they both made for her. And she _is_ always going to love Kara. No matter what had happened, Kara had been an enormous part of Lena’s life. They had a great life together, a great love. A forever of their own. Lena isn’t simply going to disregard that just because she’s hurting.

“But you have Sam now,” Kara supplies, and god, Lena can hear her heart crumbling in her chest.

“I do.”

Kara is quiet for a moment. The tears streaming freely down her cheeks. Her eyes saying everything that she isn’t. Lena knows, though, that Kara is wishing it’s still her instead. That Kara wants her back. Her and Lori. They’re supposed to be a family. And then Lena sees it fade away, sees something calm smooth over the expression on Kara’s face.

“Can you forgive me?" Kara asks.

“Yes.” Without a doubt, Lena thinks. 

And then Kara stands up, begs with her whole heart. “Can I hold you? Just this once? For the last time?”

And god, every bone in Lena's body aches at the question. _For the last time._

Lena lets her, and Kara wastes no time. She wraps her hands around Lena’s waist and holds on. She buries her face on the crook of Lena’s neck and Lena can feel Kara breathing her in, memorizing her. Her hands wrap around Kara’s shoulders and she’s holding on too. Holding on the way she would have had seven years ago. And just like that they’re melding again, into one like the whole that they’ve always been together, even if their pieces don't really fit anymore. They’re crying and smiling at the same time because it hurts so much, but they’re here now and everything’s better. No more secrets. No more hidden reasons. Everything is out in the open. God. Lena missed Kara so much. Her warmth. Her familiarity. She’s always going to love her. Even if that love isn’t the same as before.

Lena begins loosening her hold, but she feels Kara hold her tighter, unwilling to let go.

“Kara.”

“Please. Please, just a second more.”

And so she lets her. _For the last time_. Before Kara finally pulls back on her own, back to the reality that she isn’t the woman holding Lena’s heart anymore. That she lost it the moment that she left.

“I’ll still see Lori tomorrow, right?” Kara says, trying to focus on the good above it all. Lori. What matters most.

Lena wipes the tears from her eyes. It’s over. This chapter in her life is finally closed. “Of course.”

They part ways pretending like old friends, but they both know that they’re always going to be lovers. Maybe in another life. Maybe they ended up together.


	5. Chapter 5

Lena walks back to the hotel, sniffling all the way. Her face is red and blotchy, and her eyes are tired and swollen. Vision blurry and bone-tired, Lena finds herself taking more time walking back than when she did when she had left earlier. It feels like hours, even though the hotel that she is staying in isn’t too far from Pepper Park. But Lena is drained, and understandably so, what with seven years of baggage having been opened and processed in only a few hours. She sighs. 

She looks back to what had just happened, back to her conversation with Kara, and tries to imagine what Kara must have felt like in that moment when her mother had threatened her. It was wrong of Kara to make that decision for her, and it was wrong of her to keep it from her, but in the end Lena could see where Kara was coming from. Why Kara did what she thought was the right thing to do. Lillian had threatened to take everything away from Lena, and Kara understood that Lillian would have been a formidable enemy. Her mother is cunning and resourceful and awfully manipulative. So yes, Lena understands. But Lena also knows that Kara would have fought for her. She would have said something, and they would have found a way around it together. What Kara really focused on was Lionel. Lena sees it more clearly as she thinks about it now. Yes. It was the mention of her dead father that ultimately pushed Kara. 

Lena had been angry with her father for a long time after he had failed to mention who her real mother was. That and the fact that she wasn’t really a stranger to him. She wouldn’t have known if he hadn’t fallen ill and needed her blood. She’d been so angry that she isolated herself from him after that. She wouldn’t talk to him or Lillian, even if Lex had begged her to. And then he died, and only then did it occur to Lena that she hadn’t yet forgiven him. It tore her apart, made her guilty in ways that she had never felt before. So when Lillian had so expertly added Lionel into the conversation, Kara thought that there was nothing else that she could do but to give her up. Because Kara lost her family too, her parents, her grandparents, her aunt and her uncle. Kara understands how important family is. So in the name of family, Kara thought that it was the right thing to do. Disregarding the fact that she and Alex and Eliza had been Lena’s family too. The family that she would have chosen even if it meant losing her own. 

So yes, Lena understands Kara’s decision. Despite it hurting and despite feeling betrayed that Kara took away her freedom to choose. It was, in a way, a Kara thing to do. What Lena doesn’t understand is why Lillian wanted her to come home all those years ago, and wanted her to do so badly enough that she had to threaten Kara to get it. Looking back at it now, Lillian had drastically changed, and it all started when Lena came back to Metropolis seven years ago. Her mother became less…antagonistic, trying quite hard to become motherly, even if it often feels awkward for the both of them. Lillian, though, is a wonderful grandmother to Lori. Always doting on her, spoiling her, and volunteering to look after her when Lena and Sam are both busy. It’s another thing that confuses Lena. How can Lillian break her and Kara up and then proceed to act so lovingly towards the child of the person she claims that she dislikes for her daughter? If she loathed Kara so much, wouldn’t that extend to Lori? It’s a mess, and it’s making Lena’s head throb. She has so many questions, so many things she wants to ask her mother, wants to demand from her. But it’s almost eleven in National City and Lena is tired, and she knows that it would be better if she talked to her mother in person. When she gets home, she thinks. That’s the first thing on her list. 

She reaches the hotel entrance and immediately makes her way towards the elevator and up towards her suite. It’s the back of Sam’s head visible on the sofa that greets her when she enters. She closes the door behind her.

“Shhh,” Sam shushes before continuing to hum under her breath. 

Lena recognizes the song immediately. It’s “duermete mi niña”, the Spanish lullaby that Sam has taken to singing to Lori to help her sleep. 

Lena pads closer to the other woman, dragging her feet across the carpeted floor. Sure enough, she sees Lori’s sleeping form draped on the sofa, the little girl’s head resting on top of Sam’s lap. Lena releases an unsteady breath, her heart swelling with happiness at the sight. She slides her hands down Sam’s shoulders, lowering herself to place her chin on Sam’s head. She closes her eyes, and lets herself relax to the sound of Sam’s voice. 

She doesn’t know how long they stay like that, but it eases her, loosens the knots on her muscles despite the bent position, and makes her feel warm and safe. And then it hits her. The reason why she can so easily let go of her hurt and her anger towards Kara. How she can put on hold her feelings towards her mother, instead of letting it simmer inside of her, build up and have them locked and loaded to fire away at Lillian when they finally see each other. Yes. She sees it more clearly now. It’s because it’s been seven years and staying angry and frustrated won’t change anything. And Lena  _ doesn’t want  _ to change anything. She can stay mad at Kara and her mother, but that wouldn’t do anything because Lena wouldn’t go back to the past. She wouldn’t barter what she has now with what could have been. She wouldn’t go back and change anything. Yes, Lena could entertain imaginations of what her life could have been like had things gone differently, but she wouldn’t dwell on them. She doesn’t want to, because after such a long time, reality is so much better than what her mind could come up with. She’s happy. Completely and immeasurably happy. 

She has Lori. She has Sam. And she has this. Quiet moments with her daughter and the woman that she is madly and utterly in love with. All she needed was that closure, that final nail in the coffin, and she’s gotten it. 

Sam finishes her song, prompting Lena to open her eyes. They move together like they always have for the past three years. Lena circles the couch to carry her daughter, and Sam walks with them towards the suite’s second room, the one beside theirs. Her hand is on Lena’s back, steady and guiding. Lena puts Lori gently down the mattress, and Sam is there to pull the covers up to Lori’s chin. They kiss Lori goodnight. Lena on the forehead, and Sam on the cheek. And then they exit Lori’s room, making sure that they leave the door a little open. 

It’s when they’re finally back on the couch in the living room that Sam notices Lena’s hollow cheeks and darkened swollen eyes. 

“Hey,” Sam whispers, coaxing Lena closer to her. Lena lets Sam gently pull her until her back is flushed against Sam’s chest. She makes herself a little smaller, enabling Sam to rest her chin on her shoulder. “How did it go?”

“Oh, you know,” Lena replies with a laugh that sounds more broken than sincere. 

“Want to tell me what happened?” 

Lena does. She tells her everything. From beginning to end. Every detail. Every feeling. She doesn’t leave anything out, not even when she and Kara embraced, or when they held hands. Sam hums every so often, signaling Lena that she’s present, that she’s listening, and that she’s got her. 

Sam holds her when she finishes speaking. There’s a hand stroking her head and lips close to her temple.

“I’m so proud of you,” Sam murmurs. It eases the heavy weight on Lena’s chest, lessens the burden and exhaustion on her shoulders. “I know it was difficult for you to hear Kara’s reason, and finding out that your mom had something to do with it must have made things harder.”

“It did,” Lena confesses. “I have so many questions that I want to ask my mom. A lot of things just don’t make sense to me.”

“That’s understandable.”

Silence. And then…

“I’m glad you understand why Kara did it.” Lena turns her head to face the other woman. Sam is earnest when she continues, “I may not know Kara personally, but it seems to me like she had really good intentions. I mean, I agree that she should have said something, that you should’ve been able to choose, but that doesn’t mean that she didn’t do it out of love. It was a selfless thing to do. She must have been devastated to let you go.”

Lena lets Sam’s words sink in. “But my mother wouldn’t have won. Lex would have helped.”

“Kara couldn’t have known that then. At that moment all she could think of was you losing everything and everyone else because of her.”

Lena furrows her brows in contemplation. Sam is right. “Would you have done the same thing?”

“I don’t know. I’m glad that I don’t have to make that decision though, because it might literally kill me to lose you,” Sam says, smiling with her dimples to make light of the situation. It partially works. And then…  “Thank you.”

“For what?”

“For choosing me. I know that it sounds selfish. I know that you did what you just did for yourself and for Lori, but I still want to thank you, because in a way, getting that closure means staying with me.”

Lena fully turns this time, sitting face to face with Sam. “Did you ever doubt that I would?”

“No. But it still feels nice being reassured once in a while,” she says before leaning forward to kiss the tip of Lena’s nose. “I love you Lena.”

“I love you Sam.”

 

Lena wakes up feeling battered, the exhaustion still sitting heavily on her entire body. Her eyes are still swollen and there’s a throbbing ache in the base of her skull that’s painful enough to warrant some Tylenol. Blearily, Lena reaches for her cellphone on top of the side table. She almost drops it when she sees the time. 

She yanks the blanket off of her, hurriedly slips on her slippers, and jogs out of her room. Sam is by the kitchen counter, helping herself to a cup of coffee. 

“Is Lori ready?” She asks. It’s half past eleven in the morning. She was supposed to meet Kara two hours ago for breakfast. 

“I already took her to Kara’s.”

That stops Lena in her tracks. “-What?”

“I hope you don’t mind, but I asked Lori where she was supposed to meet Kara and I took it upon myself to bring her there,” Sam replies nonchalantly, as if taking her girlfriend’s child to her other mother is something she’s always done. She ambles towards the dining table, pulls a chair for herself. 

The tension in Lena’s body dissipates almost instantly. She runs a hand through her tangled hair. “You didn’t have to.”

Sam only shrugs, “You needed more time to sleep.”

She beckons Lena to the seat next to hers, offering her a steaming cup when she sits down. Lena brings it up to her lips, groaning as the hot liquid burns down her throat. 

“Thanks. For Lori, and for the coffee.”

Sam winks at her, “No big deal. But was it okay, though? Me bringing Lori to Kara? I mean, I know I should have asked you first but I didn’t want to wake you-,”

Lena smiles at her girlfriend, endeared by the fact that even after three years of being together, Sam still makes sure that she’s within her boundaries when it comes to taking care of Lori. Lena slides a hand and rests it on top of Sam’s. “It’s more than okay. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

“You know that I trust you and your initiative when it comes to Lori, right? You don’t always have to ask.”

Sam shrugs, freeing her thumb from Lena’s hand to run it lazily across the back of Lena’s palm. “You’re Lori’s mother. I’m always going to respect that.”

They sit in comfortable silence, sipping from their cups and basking in each other’s presence. It’s a good break, Lena thinks. After what had happened the night before, Lena is thankful to be away from Kara, even if it’s just for a few hours before she goes to join her and their daughter. 

 

Lena meets Kara and Lori at the mall after lunch. The new Aladdin live-action film had just hit the theatres, and Lori is desperate to watch it with both of her mothers. 

Lena arrives at the cinemas an hour and a half before the movie starts. She immediately spots Lori and Kara standing in line for their tickets. She stops in her tracks, admiring how Kara and Lori look so at ease with other, even though they’ve only just met that week. The way that Kara is looking down at their daughter, smiling as she talks to her, Lori’s little hands clasped tight with hers, both of them laughing at something that one of them said. It’s like they’ve been together since Lori’s birth. It warms Lena’s heart, and then it aches when she remembers last night when Kara had looked so devastated. Kara deserves this, Lena tells herself. She deserves more time, so Lena vows to make sure that Kara gets exactly that while she and Lori are still in National City. 

After taking a quick picture of Kara and Lori on the line, Lena resumes walking towards them. Lori’s eyes widen with her smile when she sees her. 

“Mommy!”

“Hello my darling,” Lena says as she scoops Lori into her arms, smothering her with kisses. Lori squeals in delight. “How was your morning?”

“Kara and I had so much fun! We spent the day playing at the arcade and eating so much fried chicken and french fries and pizza!”

Lena turns to Kara with a raised eyebrow. 

“Hey, she had whole wheat vegetable pizzas. And her fries were baked yucca,” Kara defends with a pout. 

It’s endearing and lovely and exactly where Lori gets her puppy-face from. The unimpressed look on Lena’s face fades into something akin to appreciation when she chuckles. 

“Thank you,” she says. 

“No problem. I figured you’d appreciate the healthier options,” Kara answers with a smile, but there’s a struggle within her that Lena doesn’t fail to notice. The longing look in her clear blue eyes attempting to hide behind the knowledge of the need to settle for friendship. It’s evident, and Lena swallows the sadness that it’s causing her. She’s always going to love Kara too. But not how it was. Not anymore.

Kara, sensing Lena’s hesitation, schools her expression into something a little jollier. Her smile only genuinely widening when she looks down at Lori again. 

The trio proceed to the snack bar once they’ve secured their tickets. There’s an array of junk food and sweets and popcorn of different flavors that has Lori’s eyes bulging out of their sockets. Lena laughs when she hears Lori’s little “wow”. She looks at her daughter, noting that she’s making the same expression as her other mother. Sneakily, Lena takes her cell phone from her purse and snaps another photo. 

They head to their viewing room with a large popcorn, various chips, loads of sweets, and a promise from Lori that she’ll brush her teeth three times when she gets home. 

The movie is great and does a superb job at copying the original animated film whilst adding more elements that make it better. Lori doesn’t care about all of that though. She is sitting in the middle of her two mothers, happily eating her popcorn as she mouths the lyrics to ‘A Whole New World’. Lena notes that Kara is doing the same, and the sight brings Lena back to the past. She’s suddenly in Kara’s apartment, wearing one of Kara’s old t-shirts from college. She’s sitting on Kara’s couch, laughing as Kara stands up to sing with the TV playing the animated version of Aladdin. It’s a Sunday afternoon, and Lena is telling herself that this is all that she needs. And then Lori’s elbow accidentally hits her rib and the impact, although gentle, is enough to bring her back to the present. She catches herself staring at Kara with a frown. The blonde woman doesn’t seem to notice, but Lena immediately looks away anyway. 

There’s a pull in her chest, something that isn’t quite as heavy as before. It doesn’t weigh all that much. Doesn’t hurt anymore either. But there’s still that tug. Lena’s not sure what it is, or what it means. It might be nostalgia, she thinks. It makes sense. All that Lena knows is that her memories with Kara are always going to have a special place in her heart and in her memories. And she might not want them back together, might not miss her, or feel the same way about her anymore, but Kara will always  _ always  _ hold a piece of her heart. 

 

They’re in a little shop that Lori’s pulled them into after watching the movie. All around them are shelves and shelves of Aladdin and other Disney themed merchandise. Lena lets go of Lori’s hand, allowing her to roam freely around the shop to pick a toy that she would like to take home. Beside Lena stands Kara, keeping a watchful eye on their little girl. 

“I’m glad we smoothed things over,” Kara says, not keeping her eyes off of Lori. 

Lena turns to her. “I’m really happy about that too.”

“I’m going to be honest with you though,” Kara frowns, “and say that I still want us to be together. Those seven years when you were gone, that didn’t stop me from loving you, from praying that one day we’d see each other again and we’d get to have what we once had. And now, seeing Lori… I just can’t help but want that even more. I want us to be a family, Lena. You, me, and Lori. But I… I also understand that you’re happy now with someone else. And I don’t want to ruin that for you. Not when I already ruined your happiness seven years ago.”

“Kara,” Lena whispers, feeling her throat constrict at Kara’s confession.

“No wait… Let me finish.”

Lena nods, turning her head to watch Lori instead. 

“You’ve already told me where you stand, and I respect that. I guess… I guess I just wanted to tell you that I love you enough to let you go. To lose you again. For the second time. And the last. As much as it hurts me to do it. Lori is what matters most now. And I want us to have a good relationship if we’re going to be good parents to our daughter.”

Lena turns to her again, her heart light with so much emotion. This is the Kara she knows, the Kara she will always love. “Thank you, Kara.”

“You’re welcome.”

“I don’t know how hard it is for you to let us go. To let me go… Again,” Lena says, “But I want you to know that you aren’t losing me or Lori this time. We’ll always be your family, even if we’re far away from you. And you and I… We’re always going to love each other. Maybe not in the way that we did before, but in a way that’s stronger and powerful enough to transcend the need to be together. We’re always going to be a part of each other’s lives, Kara. Not just because of Lori, but because you’re the greatest love of my life. I know that. You know that. Sam and my mother both know that. The whole universe does. And just because we won’t be together doesn’t mean that’s going to change.”

Lena sees Kara tearing up. She reaches out to hold Kara’s hand, squeezing it gently. “You’re going to meet someone one day, and they’re going to make you realize why you aren’t with me. And I’m going to be so happy for you the way that you’re trying your hardest to be for me.”

Kara releases a shuddery breath as Lena pulls her hand away. 

“You always know the right things to say,” Kara chuckles. “But you’re right. We’re always going to love each other. And honestly, I’d rather have you in my life as a friend than not have you at all. You come with the Lori package, after all.”

It’s easier for them now. The smoke has cleared and the dust has settled, and things are finally looking brighter. Kara is smiling more freely, more sincerely, and things are finally starting to get better. 

“I was thinking of taking Lori camping,” Lena suddenly suggests. 

Kara turns to her with a stunned expression. “But you hate camping.”

“I do. But Lori loves them. And so do you.”

The glow in Kara’s eyes is prize enough for Lena. Seven years, Lena thinks. Kara’s missed out on so much all because of her mother and her stupid ultimatum. And now Kara is letting her go again. 

Camping. It’s a small price to pay, Lena tells herself. And Kara, more than anyone in the world, deserves so much time with their daughter after everything that she has been through for the both of them. 

“You don’t have to do that for me,” Kara murmurs.

“I want to. We’ve gone through so much heartbreak in the past. I want that to end. I want a fresh start for us. For our family. I want us to have good memories this time,” Lena answers and she means it with all of her heart. “We deserve it.”

“We do.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes, i'm writing the missing chapter that has sam and kara's first meeting


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sam and kara's first meeting. written in sam's pov

Being Lena’s emotional support is the only reason for Sam’s presence in National City. That and the fact that she would do anything for Lori. Three years together and Sam’s vowed to cross oceans and move mountains for Lena and her daughter. She’s really that in love, and she’s proud to say that she is. 

The tumultuous amount of affection spilling from her makes her smile as she looks down at Lena’s sleeping form. Even in slumber, she’s still so beautiful, Sam thinks. She bends down, putting a gentle kiss on Lena’s forehead. She’s meant to wake her. It’s almost eight in the morning, and Lena and Lori have to get ready to meet with Kara. But as Sam stoops down, Lena’s swollen eyes and hollow cheeks become more prominent. It sets a frown on Sam’s face, blankets her with an overprotectiveness that grips at the seams of her heart. She never likes seeing Lena like this, all worn out and seemingly vacant. Lena is vibrant and brilliant and bright even when she’s tired. What happened last night… It really drained her. Sam can see it. 

“Lena,” she whispers, but Lena doesn’t stir. She tries again, and then a third time but Lena’s eyes remain closed. 

Sam takes another good look at her. Looks at Lena’s mouth slightly agape, and her veins being the only color against her stark pallid skin. There’s a little snore coming out of Lena’s parted lips, and a furrow in her brow that makes Sam decides right then and there.

Sam kisses Lena’s forehead before striding out of the room and into the one next to theirs. She’s met with the image of Lori tidying up her bed. 

“Good morning, Sam,” Lori happily greets when she notices the older woman. Sam smiles at her. 

“Good morning, _cariña_. Need my help?”

“Nope. I can do it,” Lori answers determinedly. She finishes fixing her bed, turns to Sam with a satisfied grin. It sparks a warmth of pride in Sam’s sternum, and she’s reminded of how Lori is so much like Lena, vibrant and brilliant and bright and persevering. And then she’s taken back to when she’d first met Lori, half a year into her relationship with Lena. She was so small then, only four years old but already so full of life. The little girl had hidden behind her mother’s leg before slowly coming out to shake her hand. That was one of the most important moments in Sam and Lena’s relationship, because it was at that moment that Lena had finally shared to her the one thing that she held dearest: her complete and utter trust in the form of her daughter.

“Can we have breakfast now?” Lori asks, bringing Sam back to the present. 

Sam smiles wider, “Of course. What do you feel like eating?”

They order room service before Sam leads Lori towards the bathroom, washing her as they wait for their meal to be delivered. She’s braiding Lori’s hair when the waiter brings in a trolley of their food. 

After breakfast, Sam instructs Lori to brush her teeth and prepare her bag for the day. Lori nods her head, dutifully skipping towards her room while Sam changes from her nightgown into a pair of jeans and a plain gray sweater. Then she walks over to their bed, stands beside a still sleeping Lena, and bends down to kiss her forehead. She leaves a note on the nightstand. 

 

Sam doesn’t overthink it, doesn’t dwell on whether or not it’s normal to take your girlfriend’s daughter to her other mother given the fact that she hasn’t met the other woman yet. Yes, the very same other woman who happens to be her girlfriend’s greatest ex-love. It’s a heavy thought, a heavy reminder, and although Sam isn’t intimidated, she still finds herself fiddling with the hem of her sweater. It’s just the nerves, Sam thinks, although she doesn’t understand why she’s nervous. There’s absolutely nothing to be nervous about. Lena loves her, and they’re relationship is perfectly intact. She sighs, calming herself. 

The car stops in front of a residential building, and Sam immediately sees a blonde woman wearing a pastel ensemble waiting by the sidewalk. It’s Kara. She takes the sight in. Broad shoulders, warm demeanor, and a kind face all wrapped in a light pink button down and a pair of brown chinos. The smile she’s wearing falters when the car door opens to reveal Lori and a woman who’s obviously not Lena. 

Sam sees the way that the other woman stiffens. It’s a telltale sign that Kara has figured out who she is, and Sam really doesn’t want things to be awkward but there’s a flash of pain and shock and something else in Kara’s eyes. Something akin to jealousy right when Lori takes hold of her hand, holding tight as they walk towards Kara. 

The little girl lets go as soon as she’s within the other woman’s reach. 

“Kara!”

“Hi, sweetheart,” Kara softly replies as she stoops down to the little girl’s level, opening her arms for an embrace.

Lori steps into her space and explains, “Mommy couldn’t take me because she’s still asleep.”

“Is that so?”

“Yeah. This is Sam, by the way,” Lori says, looking back and up at Sam with a proud expression on her face. 

Kara offers a hand, putting on neutral expression on her face. “It’s nice to meet you.”

“Good to meet you too,” Sam responds and she means it. 

Kara is an important part of Lena and Lori’s life, and Lena and Lori are the most important people in Sam’s. It’s important that they meet. It’s important that they get along. And Sam can tell that Kara feels the same way, or at least she’s trying her hardest to. 

Kara pulls her hand back first, sliding it down to hold Lori’s tiny one. “Will Lena be with us later?”

“I’m sure she’ll catch up.”

“Alright, well, thanks for dropping Lori off.”

“Anytime.” Sam bends lower to Lori’s height. “Be good, okay?”

“I always am,” Lori says with a bright smile. 

Sam straightens herself and catches Kara looking at her like she wants to say something. It’s something important. Sam can tell, but it’s also quite clear that Kara is holding back whatever it is that she wants to say. As if now isn’t the best time and place. So Sam lets it slide. Whatever Kara wants to tell her, she’ll tell her in her own time. And maybe then Sam could also say her piece. Right now, all Sam wants is for her and Kara to start on the right footing. 

“I should go.”

“Thanks again,” Kara says, her eyes meaning something else, something softer and kinder despite her initial reactions.

Sam thinks she knows what the other woman means. “You’re welcome.”


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh god, i'm so so sorry it took so long. work's been crazy and the motivation to write just hasn't reappeared until a few days ago. but i'm back now and fingers crossed we're back to updating on a more regular basis. again, thank you to everyone who's read, liked, commented, bookmarked, kudos-ed, etc. etc. you guys are my main motivators to write. 
> 
> anyway, here we are with the second to the last chapter of this crazy ride. this is basically just a chapter filled with fluff bc lord knows i've smothered this story with too much angst already. i hope you guys like it

To say that Jess is a miracle worker would be an understatement. She’s basically a gift from god. Or at least that’s how Lena sees her. She’s proven it time after time afterall, and again the night before after emailing Lena an itinerary just two hours after having been phoned with less than specific instructions to book them a stay at a nearby campsite. What Lena would do without her, she doesn’t want to find out. “Thanks Jess. You’re a lifesaver,” Lena tells her before proceeding to email her HR manager about adding another stipend for her amazing assistant. She’s typing an amount on her cellphone when the car passes a sign that says National City Vista Campgrounds. The driver makes a turn, entering a large path with a massive log house at the end of the circular pathway. Surrounding the wooden structure is a plethora of trees. Pine. Oak. Beech. The sunlight filtering through the leaves, leaving dancing shadows on the cut grass and on the roof and walls of the house. It’s entirely picturesque, really truly perfect that Lori gasps from beside Lena and squeals as she pushes her palms flat against the car window, Lori turns back to Lena, her eyes gleaming brighter than the sun outside. There’s a crinkle on the sides of her eyes from smiling too widely that shoots tendrils of warmth inside of Lena’s chest. She looks so much like Kara then.

“You’re the best Mommy,” Lori says, turning back to face the window as the car eases along the circular driveway and comes to a stop in front of the house.

Lena deletes the amount she had originally typed and adds another thousand. Jess clearly deserves it. 

They slide out of the car and enter the building, an attendant following closely behind them with their bags. Lena stops in front of the concierge’s desk. 

“Lena Luthor,” she says, as if she needs an introduction. The man behind the desk looks at her with a warm hospitable smile, the awe unmistakable in his eyes. He pulls up Lena’s reservation on his computer, informs her that she also has a lodge booked under her name. Lena smiles to herself. Of course Jess would think to book a lodge just in case Lena feels the need to stay indoors. Lena thanks the staff and waits in the lobby for Kara and Alex. 

The Danvers sisters arrive not long after. Lena spots Alex first. She raises a hand to call the woman’s attention. Lori follows her line of sight, joins her mother in raising a hand and waves enthusiastically, bouncing up and down. Lena sees the smile spread across Alex’s face when she notices them. And then Lena sees Kara behind her, a wider smile on her face, eager to see their daughter as if she hadn’t been seeing her every day for the past few days. 

“Hi nugget,” Kara says when she reaches them, scooping Lori up into her arms.

“Kara!”

“Hey, let me have some of that,” Alex interjects, mock-pouting. Lori opens her arms, inviting Alex in for a hug with her and her mother. Lena looks at the three of them, her heart bursting at the seams. 

“Mommy, come here,” Lori says, reaching her hand back and making grabby gestures at Lena. 

Alex and Kara look at her expectantly. 

“Come on, Lena. We’re not going to bite,” Alex teases. 

Lena rolls her eyes, joining in on the hug. It doesn’t feel awkward when Kara slides an arm on her shoulder, or when Alex rests her palm on her back. It feels natural, and Lena thinks it’s because they’ve been a family all this time. 

 

Lena doesn’t know how to pitch the tent, and Alex can’t help but laugh at the helpless look on her face. She’s been trying for ten good minutes, but her tent won’t stay up. She turns to her side, sees that Kara is already putting her bags inside the tent that she is sharing with Alex. Lena grunts. Lori giggles behind her. 

“You’ve never been good at that, Mommy,” the little girl comments. 

Lena turns to her, mischief gleaming in her narrowed eyes. She hunches, stalks towards her daughter with her fingers wiggling. “Well maybe if you helped me instead of munching on those marshmallows…”

Lori’s eyes widen, squeals as she recognizes Lena’s ‘i’m going to tickle you’ look. She drops her bag of marshmallows and runs screaming in delight. Lena jogs after her. 

“You can’t run forever,” Lena says in her best monster voice. Lori shrieks louder at this, running as fast as her little legs can manage. She runs towards Kara, and Kara is quick to pick her up. “Oh, so you think you can hide from me. Well Kara can’t protect you!” Lena cries, laughing mock maniacally before barraging Lori with tickles. The little girl screeches, wriggling and flailing as Kara desperately tries to hold on to her. 

“Mercy! Mercy!” Lori pleads in between laughs. “I am no match for the tickle monster.”

“Tickle monster? Wow, you’re just as dramatic as your mother,” Kara says, chuckling at Lena and Lori’s antics. 

“Dramatic?” Lori says, narrowing her eyes. The look on her face becomes eerily similar to Lena’s when she was playing the role of the tickle monster.

Kara puts Lori down right before Lori and her mother share a look. And then they call on Alex, who seems to understand what they’re trying to say with their eyes.

The next thing Kara knows is running around their campsite, avoiding her ex, their daughter, and her sister. 

 

Kara and Lori leave their site for a little nature gathering. Lena and Alex stay behind under the guise of looking after their things. In truth, both women simply want to give Kara the time to bond with her daughter. After all, it’s only a few days before they need to leave again. Fortunately, Kara and Lori don’t question their alibi, happily skipping towards the woods with promises of bringing sticks and dry leaves for the campfire. Alex watches as the pair disappear into the trees, and then she turns towards Lena. 

“Hey,” she says as she sits beside Lena on a thick log. 

“Hmm?”

“Thanks for doing this. I know you’re not a big fan of the outdoors, but it’s something that Lori shares with Kara. So, thank you for letting Kara have this with her.”

“Of course. It’s the least that I can do after everything that’s happened between Kara and I. Seven years was a long time.”

Alex looks down. Sighs. “It was. But that’s in the past now. What matters is that you both are making it right. I just wish that you could stay longer.”

“I do too. But I have work and Lori starts school in a few weeks. We can always come back though. On Lori’s next break. I can shift my schedule around. Maybe work from the headquarters here. I can find a way.”

Alex turns to her, gratitude shimmering in her eyes. “Thanks, Lena. I… I want to spend more time with Lori, too.”

“I’ll give you that, I promise,” Lena swears with conviction. 

Alex nods, seemingly satisfied with her response. And then… 

“What about you and Kara?”

Lena falters. “What about me and Kara?”

“How are things between the two of you?”

“We’re okay, I think. We’re focusing on Lori. I mean, we’ve closed that chapter. It’s been seven years after all. And besides, Kara knows that I’m… That I have someone. And that I’m happy with where I am in my life right now.”

Alex nods. “Yeah. She told me all about that. I’m happy that you’re happy, Lena. Truly. And in all honesty, I think Kara’s accepted that you’ve moved on a long time ago. She was the one who let you go, after all. I guess just seeing you again, and knowing that you have a daughter together, it just brought back all the feelings that she has for you. Feelings that haven’t really left. Feelings that were just forcibly shoved down because of the choice that she made. Seeing you again made her hope.”

“I know. She told me that she… That she still loves me. I feel the same way, Alex. I do. I’m always going to love her, but not in the way that I used to. Not anymore. That’s reserved for someone else now. But what I had with Kara, and what I share with her, that’s always going to be ours.”

“She knows that now. You made it perfectly clear for her. I guess what I’m trying to say is thank you for giving her that closure. You both had a beautiful story, but sometimes stories don’t end in happily ever afters. Or they do, but with different people,” Alex says wistfully, and Lena knows exactly where she’s coming from. 

Lena nods, releases a long breath. She fumbles for a bit, not quite sure if she has the right to ask. Still, Lena needs to know. “Is she… Is she really okay? With everything I mean. I just… I know that she talks to you about everything. And I just really want to know if she’s okay. If she isn’t just saying that she is to make me feel better.”

Alex smiles, recognizing the deeply rooted care that Lena still has for her younger sister. “She is. She’s grown up. She understands. She’s sad, of course, but she’ll get over it. Faster this time, I think, knowing that she isn’t really going to lose you at all. And with Lori… God, Kara loves your kid so much. It’s obvious with the way that she smiles, right?”

“Yes. They smile the same sometimes. That little crinkle in the corner of their eyes.”

“Yeah, I know.”

 

They’ve just finished eating dinner. Alex and Lena are stowing away their utensils while Kara and Lori prepare their ingredients for making smores. They both look excited to eat again, as if they didn’t just devour a bucket’s worth of grilled chicken legs. It makes Lena shake her head, makes Alex snort, watching Kara and Lori enthusiastically take out bags after bags of marshmallows and grahams from Kara’s duffel bag. 

“Don’t think I’m letting you eat all of that, Missy,” Lena says when she and Alex return to where Kara and Lori are sitting. 

“Awww,” Lori drawls. “C’mon, please?” She juts out her lower lip, making it wobble a bit for show. 

Lena rolls her eyes in fond exasperation. “Fine. But I’ll be the one brushing your teeth tonight.”

Lori harumphs, although there’s a smile on her face.

“I’ll have some of that,” Alex announces. Kara passes a stick with a marshmallow on the tip of it to her older sister. She passes the bag of grahams next.

“You want one, Lena?” Kara asks. 

“Just one for me.”

Lena ends up having five. Alex a fair nine. And Kara and Lori? Well… Let’s just say they run out of marshmallows at the end of the night. 

 

“Jeez, Lena. You’re gonna finish the whole bottle on her,” Kara comments as Lena rubs more lotion on their daughter. 

“I’m just making sure our daughter repels all kinds of insects.”

“Oh, that’s your daughter? I thought she was a human citronella,” Alex deadpans. 

Lori only laughs, letting her mother rub more lotion on her legs. 

 

“Mom?” Lori whispers, fidgeting as if she’s unsure of what to say. The act reminds Lena so much of how Kara fiddles with her glasses, how she stutters, and blushes and there’s that warmth springing from her chest again. At how Lori is so much like her other mother, even when her other mother hasn’t been around for the past seven years. It’s a small reminder that Lori’s always been part Kara.

“Yes?” 

“Um, well I was wondering,” Lori starts and then she takes a deep breath, releases the next words with the shyness of a child, “if maybe I can sleep beside Kara tonight.” 

Lena feels her heart implode in her chest. She bites down on her lower lip, forcing herself not to tear up at her daughter’s request. “Of course, my love. Do you want to go and ask her first?”

Lori nods. Lena walks her over to Kara, who is setting up her sleeping bag near the bonfire. 

“Kara?”

“Yeah?”

“Lori has something to ask. Go ahead, sweetie.”

Lori fumbles with the hem of her sweater. Her eyes are down when she mumbles, “Can I sleep beside you?”

“I’m sorry, love, I didn’t hear that.”

Lori sighs. She looks straight at Kara’s face when she repeats herself. “Can I sleep beside you tonight?”

Lena sees the way that Kara’s eyes water. The way that Kara’s lips part slightly for an inaudible gasp because she can’t believe that Lori wants to sleep beside her. Her daughter. The one that grew up without her. The one that she’s still getting to know. The one who apparently trusts her enough now to want to sleep beside her. Kara’s eyes find Lena’s, and Lena recognizes the gratitude and the joy inside of her beautiful blue orbs. Kara looks back at Lori. Her voice is hoarse when she responds. “I’d love that.”

 

It suddenly rains a few hours after they’ve gone to sleep. The kind of rain that really forces one back indoors. Lena mutters a ‘thank you’ meant for Jess. She covers Lori with her shawl, grabs their things and dashes for the lodge booked under her name. The wooden house is easy enough to navigate. Kara and Alex follow her. They leave their tents under the downpour. 

They find their room, which turns out to be a suite with a small living room, two bedrooms and an adjoining bathroom. 

Alex chuckles, “You really booked a suite.”

“My assistant booked it for me.” 

“Points for foresight. She deserves a raise.”

Lena laughs. “Yeah, I’m giving her one.”

 

Lena ends up sleeping beside Alex in one room, Kara and Lori snuggling beside each other on the other. 

 

Despite the rain, their camping trip had been quite a success. Lori doesn’t seem to want to leave, but they only have two days left in National City and Lena would very much prefer to spend it indoors. Lori visibly deflates at that, but she perks back up when Lena promises that they’re still spending the rest of their time with Kara.

They’re in the lobby then. It’s the day after and they’re about to check out and wait for Lena’s car when Lori suddenly announces that she has to visit the restroom. 

“I’ll take her. I have to go too,” Alex offers. 

“Alright. I’m heading to the front desk,” Lena says. 

They part ways, leaving Kara in the lobby to look after their things and look out for Lena’s driver.

The familiar black car rolls down the pathway, stopping in front of the entrance of the wooden house. Kara is about to call Lena when another familiar face comes to her line of sight. It’s Sam stepping out from the backseat. 

Sam sees her almost immediately. 

“Hey,” she greets with a sincere smile when she reaches Kara. 

“Hi.”

“I’m here to pick Lori and Lena up. Where are they?” 

“Uh, Lena’s at the front desk. Lori and my sister are in the restroom.”

“Oh… Okay.”

They stand in front of each other for a few awkward seconds. Finally, Kara clears her throat. 

“Thank you,” she says, looking at Sam in the eye. It takes the other woman aback. 

“For what?”

“For being there for Lena and for Lori. For loving them and taking care of them.”

Sam’s eyes soften. “Of course. They’re my family.”

Kara bites her lip, tearing up at the casual way that Sam says ‘family’. Sam notices this, and is quick to place her hand on Kara’s forearm. Neither women know that Lena is eyeing them curiously from where she is standing.

“Hey, Kara. I know that we don’t really know each other, but you can trust me when I say that I love Lena and Lori.”

“You don’t have to say that to me. You don’t have to reassure me. You’ve been there for them for a long time.”

“I know that. But you’re still Lori’s other mother. And you’re still Lena’s family. I guess I just… I want you to know that they’re safe with me.”

Kara sighs. “And here I was jealous of you when I first saw you. I envy you, you know? You were there to see Lori grow up. You were in my place.”

“I know,” Sam says, dropping her hand. “But there’s nothing that we can do to change the past. I just need you to remember that in the end, you’re Lori’s mother. And you’ll always have that place. I’m not trying to take that away from you, Kara. I never plan to. But I’ll be here for her for whatever she needs. That little girl means the world to me. Her and Lena.”

Kara smiles something small. “I know.”

“So… Are we okay?”

Kara outstretches her hand. Sam shakes it. “We are.”

Lena tears up as she watches Kara and Sam’s exchange. She clutches her chest, feeling her heart expand with so much happiness that it’s threatening to implode again. They’ve come so far. And now things have come full circle. Despite the bumps in the road, the pain, and the heartbreaks, they’re finally reaching the end of the tunnel. She and Kara are okay. Things are looking up for their family. And now Sam and Kara have become friends. The gaps have been closed and the holes have been stitched. All for the sake of what matters most.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here we are, at the end of the road. i'm emotional. thank you to everyone who's read, commented, bookmarked, kudos-ed, etc. you guys are the best. special thanks to the people who love how i portrayed reigncorp here. i know we're all originally supercorp shippers, so thanks guys for giving sam and lena a shot.

Lori doesn’t want to go, and Kara doesn’t want her to, but their stay in National City has come to an end and Lori, Lena, and Sam need to return to Metropolis. 

Lena watches as Lori says goodbye to Kara. Their plane had just arrived, and the other passengers had already begun boarding. It fills her heart with both joy and sadness seeing them like that, Kara down on Lori’s level, holding her daughter so tightly and not wanting to let go, and Lori patting Kara’s back, gently telling her that they’re going to see each other again soon. 

“I love you so much, monkey,” Kara says. 

“I love you too. Please don’t cry. I promise we’ll see each other again soon.”

“I know. But I’ll miss you every day.”

“We’ll call each other every day. Mom says she’ll give me an iPad so we can FaceTime any time we want.”

Lena wants to interrupt and say ‘not any time’, because her daughter still has homework and because she firmly believes in the importance of scheduling screen time, but keeps quiet, doesn’t say anything because Kara and Lori are having an important moment. 

“It’s like we’re still with each other!”

Kara chuckles, catching Lori’s optimism. She gets that from her. “Okay, sweetheart. As long as we talk every day.”

“We will.”

Kara finally lets Lori go, letting the little girl say goodbye to her auntie Alex and her grandma Eliza. 

Lena walks up to Kara then. 

“I can’t thank you enough for coming here,” Kara says. 

“You don’t have to thank me, Kara. You had every right to meet her. I know that I wasn’t too excited about it when we first got here, but I know that it was the right decision. Look at where we are now. We’re better because of it, because of her.”

“I’m sorry again for everything.”

“Shh, it’s all better now. We’re okay. We’re starting a new chapter, remember? We’re closing that one,” Lena says, holding out her hand to clasp Kara’s wrist. It feels weird to start contact like that, Lena thinks, but it still feels familiar and safe. She lets her thumb soothe Kara’s skin, and her heart breaks a little when she sees that it still works. Kara’s shoulders sag with relief. 

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

The airline staff makes an announcement for the final boarding, and Lori walks towards her mothers with her luggage in tow. She gives Kara one last hug. Kara returns it with as much love. 

“Be good, okay?” Kara reminds. 

“I always am.”

Sam comes up to them, putting a hand on the small of Lena’s back. When Kara lets go of Lori, Sam extends a hand towards her. 

“It was nice meeting you Kara.”

Kara clasps Sam’s hand in hers. “You too, Sam. Take care of them for me.”

“You know I will.”

Sam finds Lori’s hand when they pull back. And then Sam turns to Lena, gives her the kindest, most loving, and most patient look, saying something with her beautiful brown eyes that Lena fully understands the meaning of. 

Lena mirrors her smile, the same love, the same respect, the same trust. And then she turns to Kara and embraces her with all of the love that she’ll always have for her. 

“We’ll see you soon, okay?”

Kara holds on to her, and it’s different now. It doesn’t hurt anymore. It doesn’t sting. It doesn’t ache. All that she feels is love and care and hope. She breathes Lena’s scent in, memorizes the way that her heart beats against her, and the way that they fit each other like long lost pieces of a different puzzle. And then… She tucks them in to a part of her heart. It isn’t letting go. It’s just moving on. 

“I love you. Always,” she says and Lena knows exactly what she means because she feels it too. That different kind of love that will always stay with them, even after everything, even after they find new people to love. 

“I love you too,” Lena responds. And then Kara is letting go. 

“We’ll see you soon,” Lena says.

“I’ll see you soon.”

Kara watches them leave, and when they disappear into the plane, both Lena and Kara feel something unburden. It’s the thought that they lost something finally ebbing away, being replaced by the knowledge that they have everything that they need. Everything that matters most.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you guys have probably noticed that i removed this as a part of a series. i was thinking maybe i could just put the additional stories here, just add them as chapters i guess. idk, it just seems more organized for me. anyway, this chapter is the end of the main story, but expect a lot more from this au. thanks again guys.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "i presume Kara told you why she left you seven years ago."
> 
> in which Lena finally gets answers from Lillian

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm back! it's been so long but i've been rereading my old stories and this thing just came out full grown. 
> 
> i still get kudos and comments for this story, so thanks to everyone who's been reading this. much love!

It’s the day after they arrive back in Metropolis. Lori is at home and Sam is at work, just like Lena should be. She should be back in headquarters by now, being updated by the things that she missed, and the schedule that she has to follow for the day. Instead, Lena is driving her private car towards a mansion near the outskirts of the city with one goal in mind, one explanation needed that’s been seven years late. She reaches the towering iron gates midday. They open for her when she tells the intercom who she is. 

Lillian is sitting in the parlor reading a newspaper when Lena barges in. It’s one thing that Lillian usually disapproves of, but she hasn’t been that strict for seven years. Instead of the icy glare that Lena has gotten used to growing up, she is met with fondness and the lack of shock. Lillian already knows why her daughter is visiting her the very next day after arriving from National City. 

“I presume Kara told you why she left you seven years ago,” Lillian says, all grace and poise, and Lena is surprised to see, apology.

Lena is calm when she answers, “Yes. Now I need you to tell me why I shouldn’t go back to hating you.”

Lillian sighs. She gestures to the seat across from her. Lena takes it, watches as Lillian raises her chin in defiance, a gesture that says that she wouldn’t change what she did all those years ago. 

“I was sick. I had cancer.”

“And?”

“And I wanted you to come home,” Lillian explains. “I knew that you wouldn’t despite my illness. I knew that you would choose her over me and our family.”

“So you threatened her?” Lena asks, incredulous. 

“I didn’t want to die the way that your father did, without your forgiveness. My soul wouldn’t be able to rest knowing that I had a child I left who hated me.”

“You didn’t die,” Lena scoffs.

“But I didn’t know if I was going to. I wanted a chance to rebuild my family before it was too late for me, and then your brother found something that helped and the cancer cells suddenly became benign and now we’re here. Everything worked out in the end.”

“Every - everything  _ worked out?  _ You saw how heartbroken I was when Kara left. You knew the pain that I went through! You deprived Lori of her other mother all because of your selfishness!” 

Lillian sags at the mention of her granddaughter, a child she actually shows fondness towards. “I didn’t know that you were pregnant then.”

“Well, we never were the type to talk to each other. I just… I can’t believe it. After all this time, it was your fault. I lost the love of my life because of you, and Lori lost all that time with Kara.”

“Answer me this,” Lillian says, “If you stayed with Kara, would you have made amends with me?”

Lena is silent, and that is all the confirmation that Lillian needs. And then, “Why didn’t you just tell me that you were sick?”

“You would have told me that I was manipulating you.”

“You still manipulated me!”

“I know.”

“And Lori? What? Have you been pretending to love her all this time? I mean, how can you possibly love the child of the woman you said you didn’t like for your daughter?”

The question sparks a fire in Lillian. She straightens, “Don’t ever say that. I love my granddaughter.” That renders Lena speechless, the genuine honesty, the rawness in Lillian’s expression. She really does love Lori. “She’s… She’s my second chance with you.”

“What?”

“I look at Lori and I see you. I see you as a child and I feel guilty for not being the doting mother that I should have been with you. I see her as my second chance to make everything right, to rebuild  _ our  _ relationship,  _ our  _ family.”

And then Lena remembers the very first time that Lillian saw Lori, asked who the father was and Lena had said “Mother. Kara.” She remembers Lillian holding Lori for the first time, and then smiling. Lillian Luthor. Smiling. She remembers Lillian telling Lena to sleep, telling her that she’ll take care of it, that she’ll look after the child and that she would gladly do so again if it would help. She remembers birthdays and Christmases and piles and piles of gifts. Remembers Lillian teaching Lori how to play chess. Remembers Lori sitting on Lillian’s lap in this very parlor where Lillian would read her a story. All this time, Lillian saw her too. She feels her tears stream down her cheeks, falling at a rapid pace because she’s  _ angry  _ at her mother for what she did. But at the same time…

“You took Kara away from me. You put her in a difficult spot and you hurt me because of that.”

“I’m sorry,” Lillian says, reaching out her hand but Lena pulls away. It’s the very first time that her mother had apologized that sincerely. “I really am. For all of the pain that I’ve caused you. But I want you to know that I wouldn’t change anything. I wouldn’t. Look at you now. You’re the COO of L-Corp. You have a wonderful and intelligent daughter. You have a girlfriend that loves you more than the world. I know that you could have had all of that with Kara. But things would have been different. We wouldn’t have bonded. We wouldn’t have reconciled. And Lori wouldn’t know me and Lex the way that she does.”

Lillian is right. Things would have been different. She would have been happy with Kara, but in a different way. A way that she can’t imagine even if she closes her eyes and thinks hard because she can’t just disregard Sam and visualize a time and place where she isn’t in love with her. Sam is her constant now. 

“You can hate me. It’ll hurt but I’ll take it, if it’s my penance for what I did to you and Kara, and for not telling you the truth. But please,” Lillian pleads and it’s the very first time that Lena sees her like this.  _ Begging.  _ “Please don’t take Lori away from me.”

“Mom… I…” Lena starts, but she finds herself choking at her words. She’s angry, and she’s hurt, and she’s disappointed, but she can’t, for the life of her, even think of taking Lori’s grandmother away from her. “You know that Lori loves you.”

And then Lena sees Lillian do something she’s never seen her do. Lillian cries. 

“I’m sorry Lena. I’m so sorry.”

“I’m sorry too,” Lena says, standing up from her chair and swiping her own tears from her cheeks. “I hope you understand that I need time. I know it‘s been seven years but this… You hurt me again.”

“I know. I understand.”

“Thank you. Don’t worry. Lori and I will still see you tomorrow for breakfast,” Lena says, and then she’s walking out of the room, out of the house, and driving back to Metropolis.

**Author's Note:**

> just a reminder: the main plot ended with the previous chapter but i'll still be posting oneshots in this story so i don't have to make a series. thanks :)


End file.
